Attachment Theory

I became enamored with Attachment Theory in graduate school including joining a group of psychologists studying Daniel Siegel's book The Developing Mind (one of the earliest books on interpersonal neurobiology). Afterwards I sought out trainings from Daniel Siegel as well as others like Carol George and Diana Fosha for years. Attachment theory is the foundation of my approach to therapy, particularly the centrality of safety in relationships in order to explore, expand, and face challenges.

Attachment therapy aims to help individuals who have issues with relationships stemming from childhood experiences such as neglect, abuse, or trauma. These experiences can affect a person's ability to form healthy and secure connections in adulthood, leading to problems like anxiety, depression, and difficulty in forming and maintaining close relationships. The goal is to help individuals develop a more secure attachment style, leading to better relationships and overall emotional well-being.

Attachment theory tells us that how we grew up, how we related to our caregivers effects us as adults. Through a process called compassionate inquiry we look at your childhood through new lenses to uncover what might be holding you back today. Some people come to therapy expecting to go to a couple of sessions until the counselor tells them what to do about their problem. I don’t do that. I do help guide you to your own answers.

Like Family Systems Theory, I use Attachment Theory as a way to help clients process their relationships to their parents and their partners. This approach I use less frequently, but it is something I employ when there is significant anxiety around relationships with parents or partners.

I practice primarily from an attachment lens. I believe attachment is often at the heart of wounds we carry and believe that relationships are central to our pain and our healing.

Understanding attachment theory and add in the PloyVagal theory you get a sense of greater ways to regulate yourself in and out of your relationships. The pattern you learned in the styles of attachment in your multigenerational linage can play a large part in the way your body responds to conflict and connection. Over time we get to explore and heal these old patterns to bring on more thrive in your life.

Attachment theory is one of the bedrocks upon which I have built my own approach and skill set. Just as we can be grievously injured in relationship, we can grow and heal in one too. I know that our earliest experiences are the legs upon which our more mature lives stand on and sometimes we need a helping hand to explore areas of life that remain untested or parts of ourselves that we’d prefer not to know about.

I utilize attachment theory to help us understand our positive and negative interpretations of life experiences. "Attachment is a deep and enduring emotional bond that connects one person to another across time and space (Ainsworth, 1973; Bowlby, 1969)." We will look at your childhood attachments and how the influence your life, your child's life, your partner's life now.

Attachment therapy aims to help individuals who have issues with relationships stemming from childhood experiences such as neglect, abuse, or trauma. These experiences can affect a person's ability to form healthy and secure connections in adulthood, leading to problems like anxiety, depression, and difficulty in forming and maintaining close relationships. The goal is to help individuals develop a more secure attachment style, leading to better relationships and overall emotional well-being.

Attachment, connection, belonging and community are as necessary for human existence as water and food. It is within loving and caring relationships that we learn how to cope with and manage our feelings, find motivation and initiative to pursue our goals and intentions, and learn empathy and compassion. Being hurt, abused, violated or betrayed within a trusted relationship, especially our earliest relationships with our caregivers, often create future relationship insecurities and anxieties.

How we perceive, function within and react to our environment today is related to the nature of our attachment to caregivers or parents when we were very young. Sometimes we go through things that keep us "stuck" in childhood, such as trauma or lack of normal attachments.

When using attachement theory, I take a look at how your childhood environment, including your relationships with your parent(s) and primary care giver(s), played a role in how you move through your current relationships. Research shows that how you and your primary caregiver bonded plays a role in your adult romantic relationships. By acknowleding the bonds and shifting the behaviors that are currently not serving you, we can make lasting changes in how you relate to others.

From birth into each and every relationship, attachment theory informs how we feel loved and safe as well as what happens when we do not. From my academic studies in graduate school to me current clinical work, attachment theory informs my practice in evidence-based (e.g. The Gottman Institute's research) and relational applications.

Over the past several years, I have found that exploring the theory of Attachment with some of my clients can help us understand the relational dynamics through our ongoing relationships such as; family, life-long friends, and thier romantic relationships, to name a few. Attachment theory can be very insightful, as it helps us see how we relate to the world and how we perceive other people in our lives.

Everyone has strategies to get their needs met. Often times these once essential strategies become patterns in our life that keep us from connecting and turning toward one another. Attachment and emotion-focused therapy invites us to understand and build compassion for our old patterns, while building new, healthier strategies for connection by identifying our emotions and giving voice to our needs.

Our relationships are so important in shaping our lives. The more we understand about our attachment style and how to navigate our relationships, the more we equip ourselves to lead fulfilling lives.

The roots of attachment influence our relationships, self esteem, and give us a secure base from which we live. Understanding our own attachment and how it impacts us is a key focus of therapeutic work.

Our earliest relationships with caregivers and the ways we learned to get our needs met often manifest in our adult relationships. We'll examine your attachment style, whether it's anxious, avoidant, disorganized, or a combination, and explore ways to heal your attachment wounds.